GRN
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The Galactic Radio Network
The Galactic Radio Network
Stop wasting valuable time pretending your planet matters. Tune in to GRN and let the galaxy’s only irresponsible broadcast liquefy your brainwaves into pure entertainment!

Learn more and start today

ABOUT THE NETWORK

What Makes GRN the Only Signal Worth Frying Your Brain For

Telepathic

We are tuned to all known human telepathic brainwave frequencies and we hear your thought before you know you have them.

Frenzy

Fueled by unstable energy beings and too much Blue Rear Nova.

Frequencies

Available on all frequencies from sub-space to fm to gravitational. We've got you covered (but not in a good way).

Extortion

Contact our Extortion Dept to make your regularly scheduled payment.

GRN Logo THE GOAT in RADIO

Nobody Scrambles Signals Quite Like Us.

At GRN, we don’t just broadcast, we obliterate clarity. While other networks settle for clean, polished transmission, we lace our signals with temporal echoes, cosmic static, and subliminal barnacle jingles designed to burrow straight into your cortex. Our patented “Quantum Misalignment Frequency Tuning” ensures no two listeners ever hear the same program twice (sometimes not even in the same timeline). Whether you’re a space trucker barreling through hyperspace, a pure energy being communing in the void, or a human remnant hiding from dinosaurs, you’ll get scrambled, garbled, and gloriously confused content that no other network dares to deliver. Because here at GRN, distortion IS the message.

  View Our Programs

Buildings definitely not people, that would be silly

THE TEAM

The ones who run this company*

* into the ground

Tandar

Tandar Mu

CEO & Founder

Tandar has transformed the galaxy, blending cutting edge pseudo-science with the unknown forces of interstellar chaos, while secretly harnessing the power of telepathic transmission towers that defy reason.

Jane

Kretacious Slagmoth

Legal Director

You don't want to know, that's why we have a mandatory legal waiver programming guide each new listener is strongly required to witness under duress.

Mike

Mike Ross

Web Designer

A random human we found in our lint trap a few years back. He pleaded for his life in exchange for the priviledge of working for us for free.

Denebula

Denebula Starsby

Chief Encouragement Patrol Liason

When our hosts get out of line, Denebula knows just the right pressure points to press in order to facilitate the best compliance.

14+
Partners In Crime
55+
Planets UnDone
89+G
Happy Clients Slaves
150+
Incursions into the Forbidden Zone

SELECT PROGRAMS

Safe for human nervious systems

A microphone News Shards
A phone Gravity Ball Championships
A drone Galactic Health Minutes
Soundbox Random Music Selection
A tablet Hack the Universe
A camera The Sony Alpine Show
A typewriter Mysteries with Mephtara
A tableturner Nothing But Adverts
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Our Awards.

Over the centuries, Galactic Radio Network has racked up more dubious accolades than any other broadcaster in the known multiverse. We’re the proud recipients of the Zebulon Award for Most Post-Apocalyptic News Coverage, the Black Hole Trophy for Outstanding Signal Distortion, and three consecutive Cosmic Con Awards for Best Use of Unauthorized Mind Control. Our Blue Rear Nova ™ campaign won the Golden Enema Chalice from the Intergastric Marketing Council, while our investigative series Humans: Food or Pets? was honored with the Abductionor Prize for Unethical Journalism. GRN also holds the dubious distinction of being banned in 427 star systems, a record we display proudly. Because when it comes to bogus, nefarious, and entirely self-invented awards, nobody polishes fake trophies quite like us.

Leading Reasons Cited for Being Given an Award

Questionable Business Practices

90%

Nefarious Designs

85%

Galactic Conquest

75%

PRICING

Choose a pricing plan that limits the storage of our data in your synaptic pathways.

  • Subject
  • 100TB Storage
  • 1 Telepathic Channel
  • 1 Mind Meld
  • Orthopedic Support

  • 49 qcr

    per centon
  • Sucker
  • 25TB Storage
  • 4 Simultanious Telepathic Channels
  • 1 Abduction
  • 10 Mind Melds
  • Endless Support

  • 499 qcr

    per centon
  • Beloved Pet
  • 1TB Storage
  • 10 Telepathic Channels
  • 5 Abductions
  • Unlimited Mind Melds
  • Eternal Support

  • 999 qcr

    per centon

FIRST CONTACT

Lets get our tenticles in touch. Send us a message:

Lumpock WK, US

Phone: +00 151515

Email: radio@galacticradionet.work